I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
