when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
