Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
