just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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