Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
