Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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