I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
