did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
