everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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