I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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