I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize