What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
