Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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