Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i need some magic done to my vagina
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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