You're so nebulous sometimes
her vagine was all disorganized.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
