So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
