What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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