Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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