Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
