You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize