i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The feeling are messing with the penis
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
