I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
