What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize
