I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
