trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
