He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he shaved USA in his pubs
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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