I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
