how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
