How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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