Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
