My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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