Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize