tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
