Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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