I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
