Nicole vs. Life
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
