Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
