it was like his penis was on wheels.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
