i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the condom got lost in my hair
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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