what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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