Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
