Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
