Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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