i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize