the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
