if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
