just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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