we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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