We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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