At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
