Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
