There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
