I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
