She said her name was "party"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
